they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
