Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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