Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
