oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i came on her dog
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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