just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
