She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
