then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
