I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
two words: eviction party
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
