I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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