I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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