**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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