How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
