um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
