Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
