AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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