thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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