she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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