You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
