Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
