He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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