How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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