I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
