so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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