I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
