someone threw a dead crab at me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
