omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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