I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
