there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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