apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize