Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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