Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
