I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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