White coat. Heels.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
