who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
