We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
