Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so much tequila, so little girl.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
