I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
