Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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