i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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