I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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