I'm so fucking centered right now
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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