I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
