i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I didn't notice because vodka
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am never drinking with the goths again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
