Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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