not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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