you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
