I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
