Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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