eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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