my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
