I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
