My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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