I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
