He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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