so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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