im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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