Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
