Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.

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(970): View more from Colorado

We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard

(970): View more from Colorado

I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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(626): View more from California

This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side

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(816): View more from Missouri

Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.

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(850): View more from Florida

if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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(937): View more from Ohio

Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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(716): View more from New York

You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.

(315): View more from New York

Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.

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(530): View more from California

I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...

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