No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
God gave him joint rollers for hands
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
how drunk are you?
Several
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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