Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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