Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
