but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
