Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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