it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
