I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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