Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
